Everybody's a Critic
Traditional book review coverage is all but kaput, which means I had to think way outside the box to drum up interest in Leverage. Enjoy these illuminating insights from literature's unlikeliest critics.
"What's with the Leverage protagonist's constant masturbation? The thought of shining a black light in the author's home gives me nightmares."
—Dozens of Triggered White Women on Goodreads
"Read and review Mr. Gowani's ridiculous Wall Street caper? After he assailed this newspaper time and time and time again? You must be mad."
—The Economist
"Now do you people understand why we stopped reviewing books?"
—The Associated Press
"Leverage's villain is scary smart, extremely calculating, and ruggedly handsome. In other words, he's nothing like me! I can't believe Amran didn't base his villain on me!"
—All of Amran's Pathetic, Incompetent, and Narcissistic Old Bosses
"We don't get many novels in Hell, but Lord Satan said Leverage was definitely the book we deserved."
—Jeffrey Epstein, High Financier Child Molester
"While I don't agree with any of the nonsense in Mr. Gowani's Marxist manifesto, I would like to remind Amazon Prime members they receive free shipping on all purchases over thirty-five dollars."
—Jeff Bezos, Beta Male
"To be honest, this white-collar crime thriller kicks total ass. But, had we reviewed it, we would've been forced to admit our allegedly prestigious newspaper is hot garbage."
—The Wall Street Journal Editorial Board
"Go woke, go broke."
—Peter Thiel, Wannabe Supervillain
"Review books? We don't even practice journalism."
—The New York Times
"I'm in this book! Me! I am in this book! Sure I'm the butt of a hilarious joke—and I come off as a total moron—but the author paid attention to me! I love attention! I need attention. I'm so alone."
—Elon Musk, Incel King
"A vulgar and grotesque abomination...amounting to little more than a nail in the coffin of American literature."
—The New Yorker
"ICE agents are en route, Mister President."
—Tom Homan, Off-brand Fascist
"Fiction is for girls."
—Joe Rogan, Meathead
Rate and Review Leverage!
Gags aside, book review coverage is cooked.
If you've read Leverage and are willing to rate and review the novel on Goodreads, StoryGraph, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc., your effort will help additional readers discover the novel and could make a big impact on the book's commercial fortunes.
Five-star ratings and glowing reviews are preferred, but you should of course leave an honest assessment. Pro Tip: Cutting and pasting the same review in multiple places is easy for you and beneficial for me (and all authors for that matter).
Finally, if you're among the 99.99999% of humans who haven't yet procured a copy of Leverage, click HERE to atone.
