Forty-Two Goals for the Next Forty-Two Years

I turn forty-two years old today. Two thousand one hundred eighty-four weeks. Fifteen thousand three hundred forty days. If I’m extremely fortunate — or perhaps tragically unlucky — this will mark the halfway point of my life.

Here are forty-two goals, hopes and aspirations for those next forty-two orbits around the sun.

1. Always remain curious, mentally flexible, and amenable to new ideas…

2. …while never compromising my principles or integrity.

3. Celebrate my fiftieth wedding anniversary on June 14, 2064.

4. Watch my daughter’s first crush show up at our house, sheepish, and get to warn them: You ain’t gotta worry about me, you gotta worry about her.

5. “Traditionally” publish a novel — strong preference for my current project (and second attempt).

6. Figure out how to be a good dad and a good husband — at the same time.

7. Always remain a memorable person, for good or ill.

8. Celebrate both of my kids’ thirtieth, fortieth, and forty-fifth birthdays (fiftieth too if I’m not yet soylent green by eighty-nine).

9. Adopt a dog.

10. Let my kids grow up to become whoever they want, do whatever job they want, marry (or not) whoever they want — and not give AF (assuming no catastrophic #negative_externalities).

11. Complete a black bouldering route (V6/V7) at our climbing gym.

12. Write a short story collection.

13. Survive the next three pandemics.

14. Read at least one thousand more books — two per month.

15. During the summer of 2032, when both my kids are officially teenagers, make them sit through these classic movies: Goodfellas, Casablanca, Aliens, Fight Club, Enter the Dragon, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Predator, Jaws, Blade, Apocalypse Now, The Sting, I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, Heat, Die Hard, There Will Be Blood, Harlem Nights, Dr. Strangelove, Demolition Man, Chinatown, and The Big Lebowski. When each is finished, repeat the following: “They don’t make ‘em like they used to” and “This’ll be good fodder for your therapist.”

16. See the day when mass shootings become an impossibility in the United States (and globally). #stretchgoals

17. Become an automobile-free family.

18. Never fear death — finitude is what gives life meaning.

19. Have that I told you so moment with my adult kids, where they admit I was right about a lot of things.

20. Have that I told you so moment with my adult kids, where I admit they were right about a lot of things — and say I’m sorry.

21. Become a vegetarian.

22. Never let my kids “win” without putting in the GD effort.

23. Be able to do at least one pull-up until the bitter end.

24. Finish Moby-Dick.

25. Toss a baseball with my son, like my dad did…oh wait. [Don’t worry, I’m terminating my family’s tradition of paternal abandonment with extreme prejudice.]

26. Never get duped into buying a boat.

27. Go an entire calendar year without watching one second of NFL and NCAA football. Repeat.

28. Avoid prison.

29. Dump our vintage condo on naïve, hopeful, unsuspecting buyers — like my wife and I in 2017.

30. Finally watch Citizen Kane and North by Northwest (I can do this one!).

31. Walk or ride a bike every single day.

32. Outlive a two-thirds supermajority of the present-day U.S. Senate.

33. Swim in the Pacific Ocean at least once per remaining decade — minimum five more times.

34. Never stop teaching my kids.

35. Never stop learning from my kids.

36. Explore at least one country on the six non-Antarctic continents (three down, three to go).

37. Team up with my potential grandkids to troll the ever-living shit out of my adult children. #payback

38. Grab a coffee with the Obamas in Chicago.

39. Take my kids to a pro wrestling match and a monster truck rally.

40. Age, but never get old.

41. Always keep writing. Because even though I’ll never be rich nor famous, these words matter, and they bring smiles to your faces, or make you laugh, or cringe, or change the way you think about the world, or teach you something new, which is truly invaluable.

42. Know it’s fine if I don’t achieve all these goals as long as I try to live an engaged, present, principled life.