I Finished My Dang Novel!

BIG NEWS: I finished the first-goddamned-draft of my novel!

It only took me 1.7 years.

Considering I navigated the second half of a global infectious disease pandemic, created then deleted a Medium account, created then deleted a Twitter account, launched a Substack newsletter, wrote over eighty pieces of short-form madness, became the Treasurer at my daughter’s school, became the Treasurer of my dysfunctional HOA, kept two ungrateful children alive, tricked my wife into staying married to me, and survived the U.S. healthcare system during that same time period, I’d say it’s a halfway decent accomplishment.

Even more surreal, I’ve now written two novels during the past 4.5 years. Neither have been published, and thus far they’ve combined to generate $0.00 in gross revenue.

Minor details.

To celebrate this overdue accomplishment, I’m sharing the unofficial “soundtrack” to my novel, Leverage (or will it be Leveraged?).

Many of you may recall I named each chapter after a nineties hip hop song, and I rebranded the novel’s thirty-six chapters as “chambers” in homage to Wu Tang Clan’s legendary debut album.

More fun still is the song titles themselves create their own story, which mimics the novel’s narrative arc. I did plan that, but the result turned out even better than I envisioned.

Hence, behold Leverage[d], as told through nineties hip hop song titles.

The 36 Chambers

1st: Living in the World Today, GZA

2nd: Things Done Changed, The Notorious B.I.G.

3rd: Everything Remains Raw, Busta Rhymes

4th: Soliloquy of Chaos, Gang Starr

5th: Raw Hide, Ol’ Dirty Bastard

6th: Verbal Intercourse, Raekwon

7th: Word on the Street, Inspectah Deck

8th: Stakes is High, De La Soul

9th: 1-800-SUICIDE, Gravediggaz

10th: Simon Says, Pharoahe Monch

11th: Above the Clouds, Gang Starr

12th: Protect Ya Neck, Wu Tang Clan

13th: Tic Toc, Lords of the Underground

14th: Let Me Ride, Dr. Dre

15th: Investigative Reports, GZA

16th: C.R.E.A.M., Wu Tang Clan

17th: Who Got Da Props, Black Moon

18th: Statik, Jeru the Damaja

19th: Mathematics, Mos Def

20th: Dog Eat Dog, De La Soul

21st: Nature of the Threat, Ras Kass

22nd: Survival of the Fittest, Mobb Deep

23rd: Who's Gonna Take the Weight?, Gang Starr

24th: Burning Season, Killarmy

25th: Ill Vibe, Busta Rhymes

26th: Got, Mos Def

27th: Code of the Streets, Gang Starr

28th: Ya Playin' Yaself, Jeru the Damaja

29th: Dress to Kill, Killarmy

30th: Sound of da police, KRS-One

31st: Suicidal Thoughts, The Notorious B.I.G.

32nd: Bring Da Ruckus, Wu Tang Clan

33rd: Scenario, A Tribe Called Quest

34th: Bring the Pain, Method Man

35th: Capital Punishment, Big Punisher

36th: The World is Yours, Nas

Listen Along

I created identical playlists in Apple and Spotify for anyone who’s interested in checking out the soundtrack.

Fans of child sweatshop labor can access the playlist here.

Fans of Joe Rogan conspiracy theories can access the playlist here.

Content warning: I chose these songs for the titles, not because they’re my favorite tracks. And even though I dig most of them, I certainly can’t vouch for all the lyrics. If you listen through you will encounter misogyny, homophobia, depictions of drug use and violence, and plenty of expletives.

Now What?

Completing the first draft is a massive accomplishment—and an even bigger relief—but the work is far from finished.

I need to re-read and revise the entire novel at least two more times, then do one pass where I read the entire book aloud. For my fellow writers out there, I strongly recommend doing that for your own work. Your ear will intuitively tell you when something doesn’t sound right, especially dialogue.

After that, I’ll send the polished final draft to a few beta readers, then hopefully incorporate their feedback without having to burn down the entire story and start from scratch.

Finally, when all that’s done too—hopefully around mid-summer—I’ll pitch bloodsucking literary agents with my kickass query letter and then wait months for an inevitable wave of rejections.

Great business.

Very rewarding.

Thank You!

While there’s still a long road ahead, I want to thank all of you for supporting me on this insane journey!

You people have taught, encouraged, motivated, and humbled me. You’ve put real money and considerable time into helping me improve as a writer. And your consistent engagement and attention have given me the confidence to know I can actually pull off this whole novel writing thing.

My sincerest thanks.

Fingers crossed for more exciting news during the months ahead.