My Daughter and I Had the Talk -- About Nuclear Weapons

EXT. PEDESTRIAN SIDEWALK — EVENING

Idyllic, tree-lined, snow-covered, dog-shit-stained neighborhood street in Lincoln Park, Chicago. Hazy sun is setting, sidewalks are gradually filling with post-work crowd. Light automobile traffic.

A father, stocky, menacing, brown-skinned, early forties, and his daughter, athletic, spunky, fair-skinned, six years old, are going for a walk to get some exercise and fresh air. The daughter skips joyfully while her father walks methodically behind with his head slightly bowed. Both are bundled up in winter attire.

After a few quiet moments strolling together, the daughter asks an important question.

DAUGHTER

(Curious)

Dad, are bombs real?

FATHER

(Intrigued)

Unfortunately, yes. Bombs are real.

DAUGHTER

Like smoke bombs that shoot smoke? And water bombs that get people wet?

FATHER

(Didactic)

Those too. But real bombs are weapons. They’re made using chemistry and engineering, and they’re designed to hurt — even kill — people.

DAUGHTER

(Unsure)

Why?

FATHER

Well, unfortunately, because humans are the worst species. We’re no more sophisticated than baboons or chimpanzees, but we have big brains and can develop technology. Remember, technology can be used to make helpful things, but it can also be used to make evil things. That’s the nature of the universe. You can’t have the good without the bad.

Some people — usually bad people — want power, or money, or to be in charge of everyone else, and they use violence, including weapons — like bombs — to achieve their goals. Sadly — despite what the liberals will tell you — might does make right. It’s just how people are.

DAUGHTER

(Having an epiphany)

Oh, so it’s like how Captain Rex and Ahsoka used bombs in that one episode of the Clone Wars! To blow up those droids!

FATHER

(Proudly)

That’s right! And that episode was really interesting, because remember they were training the local people to battle against the Separatists? They wanted to become freedom fighters. To defend themselves against the droid army. But don’t forget the famous saying, ‘One man’s freedom fighter is another man’s terrorist.’ So, it depends on your perspective.

DAUGHTER

(Recognizing patterns)

I remember! It’s like the ninjas versus the samurais. If you’re a ninja, you think you’re the good guy. But if you’re a samurai, you think you’re the good guy, but the ninja thinks you’re the villain. And the samurai thinks the ninja is the villain.

FATHER

Exactly! Terrorists — or freedom fighters, depending on your point of view — often use bombs as weapons. That’s because they’re easy to make, and they can do a lot of damage, and they create fear, which is maybe the most important weapon on any battlefield. Remember we talked about the word phobia? It means afraid of, and it’s derived from the name Phobos, who was the Greek God of Fear, and who was said to rule the battlefield. That’s because, back then, whichever side became the most afraid, was the side that would most likely quit fighting, and then run away and get routed.

DAUGHTER

Yeah, like arachnophobia. For silly people who are afraid of spiders! So silly.

FATHER

It’s okay to be afraid of spiders. Mommy’s afraid of spiders.

DAUGHTER

(Sarcastic)

Yeah, but Mommy’s afraid of EVERYTHING!

FATHER

That’s true.

The pair walk quietly for a few minutes, until, in quick succession, the father sees a squirrel, a gargantuan dog turd in the middle of the sidewalk, a Black Lives Matter sign in the window of a street with no Black residents, and three discarded face masks littered about.

FATHER

(Agitated)

Did you know, that in the 1940s, a group of scientists developed a bomb that was so strong it could blow up an entire city? It’s called a nuclear bomb, and it’s based on nuclear fission technology.

DAUGHTER

(Worried)

You mean, it could like blow up this whole street?

FATHER

No. I mean, it could like blow up the whole city of Chicago. All the buildings. All the people. All the parks. Everything.

DAUGHTER

Like, it could blow up that tree over there?

FATHER

All the trees.

DAUGHTER

And those two people walking?

FATHER

All the people.

DAUGHTER

And North Pond?

FATHER

All the ponds. All the lakes. All the fish. All the frogs. All the turtles. All the birds. The zoo. The Nature Museum. The aquarium. Everything. Everything in the whole city. Gone.

DAUGHTER

(Angrily)

Ugh! Why would someone do that?! That’s so mean!

FATHER

I know, it sucks, but that’s just how people are. Luckily, humans have only ever used nuclear bombs to blow up two cities. Both were in Japan, at the end of World War II. Remember when we looked at the map together? Imperial Japan had conquered almost all of the Asian-Pacific countries, and they did horrible things to lots of people. At the end of the war, after many years of terrible fighting, some people thought using nuclear weapons was justified, because otherwise the Japanese wouldn’t have surrendered. And nobody wanted to invade Japan, which would have led to a protracted, bloody slog. But other people say it was unethical — and even racist — to drop the bombs on Japan. They say they never would have used atomic weapons against Germany — even though the Nazis were some of the worst people to ever live — because they were white. That’s probably true. America is super racist.

Anyway, right now, there’s enough nuclear bombs in the world to kill every person on the planet. Isn’t that amazing? Seems like that should be a big deal, huh? It’s not. Nobody cares. The President has almost total authority to launch a nuclear strike whenever they want. Can you believe the dumb orange president had access to nuclear weapons? It’s amazing we’re not dead already.

DAUGHTER

(Repulsed)

Ugh. I hate the dumb orange president! He’s so stupid!

FATHER

Yeah, well, he’s irrelevant now. A total loser. Hopefully, someday soon, we won’t have to think about him anymore.

DAUGHTER

Yeah! Mister Irrelevant. So funny, Dad.

FATHER

You want to head back inside? I think you’re ready for Rogue One. That’s the one where the rebels steal the schematics for the Death Star.

DAUGHTER

Ooooooh yeah! The Death Star! That’s the huge spaceship that blew up Senator Organa’s planet!

FATHER

It sure is.