My Kids and I Had the Talk -- About Adverse Selection

INT. KITCHEN — MORNING

Bitterly cold winter day in overpriced, critter-infested condo located in White safe, White wealthy, White well-manicured neighborhood on Chicago's White North Side.

A middle-aged father—solemn, swarthy, and silently wondering why he keeps going—shovels Grape Nuts into his mouth for the sixth thousandth consecutive morning. His ungrateful progeny consume designer pancakes prepared by their doting yet disappointed mother.

With breakfast winding down, and thirty minutes until school starts, the father's precocious and inquisitive ten-year-old daughter poses a compelling query.

DAUGHTER

(Curious)

Dad, in the Escape from New York movies, why are the presidents such total jerks?

FATHER

(Hopeful)

That's a good question, and one you already know the answer to because we've discussed the concept before.

So I return the question to the sender: Why do you think the presidents in those movies are such total jerks?

DAUGHTER

(Discomfited and annoyed)

Um...well...

FATHER

Let's break it down: What kind of person wants to become president?

DAUGHTER

(Unsure)

Someone who wants money?

FATHER

(Proud)

Correct.

Though, theoretically, the president is a public servant, and public servants are supposed to be concerned about improving the lives of their fellow citizens, not enriching themselves.

Theoretically.

What other personality attributes does a future president possess?

DAUGHTER

They're dumb?

FATHER

That is too often the case, sadly, though being dumb isn't a prerequisite for the job.

What other traits can you think of?

SON

(Confident)

Power.

FATHER

They're power hungry—yes.

They want to be in charge of everyone, right? And they also like to control things.

Anything else?

DAUGHTER

(Confident)

They want to be famous!

FATHER

Definitely.

So, basically, the kind of person who wants to become president is power hungry, money hungry, and loves to boss people around.

I mean, we're basically describing a sociopath, right?

DAUGHTER

(Disdainful)

Yeah—that person sounds terrible.

FATHER

They sure do.

Now, let's look at this another way: Who's the loudest, most insufferable kid in your class?

DAUGHTER

(Disgusted)

[REDACTED]

FATHER

And what are they like?

Do they always raise their hand in class?

Are they always talking over everyone else?

Do they never shut up?

DAUGHTER

(Tentative)

Yes, and...

FATHER

(Laughs bemused)

Am I describing you as well?!

Are you an annoying know-it-all who's always raising their hand and who loves the sound of their own voice and who's always begging the teacher to pay attention to them?

DAUGHTER

(Offended)

No!

SON

FATHER

It's okay if you are.

I was—and pretty much still am—so you're welcome to blame your personality defects on me.

DAUGHTER

I never want to be the center of attention in class.

I just want to get through each day with no drama so I can go home and have fun.

FATHER

And therein lies the answer to your question.

See, that annoying kid who never shuts up? And who has no sense of shame? And who's always saying the dumbest shit imaginable to get attention?

That kid's gonna become president one day.

DAUGHER

(Exasperated)

Oh my gods.

FATHER

(Resigned)

Yep.

The exact kind of person who should never become president is exactly the kind of person who will definitely become president.

This phenomenon is called adverse selection, and it's the reason everything sucks ass.

An Action Packed 2026 Awaits!

Despite all signs pointing to the obvious—writing books is dumb and I should definitely quit—I'm going to embrace the sunk cost fallacy and triple down on my catastrophic career pivot.

As such, I'm planning to attend at least two major writing conferences this year: Bouchercon 2026 in Calgary and ThrillerFest 2026 in New York City. AWP 2026 in Baltimore doesn't mesh with my schedule, unfortunately, though AWP 2027 is taking place in Chicago and I'm very much looking forward to participating.

I'm also getting more active as a guest host on the Diverse Voices Book Review podcast. Make sure to subscribe so you can catch my future interviews. And if you know someone who'd like to be a guest on the show, or there's a novel or short story collection publishing this year that you're super excited about, please shoot me an email and let me know!

Finally, I'm working with a local Chicago bookstore to host another Leverage event this spring. More details in due course.

As always, stay frosty out there.

—Amran