Powell’s War Journal: Fuck All These Motherfuckers!

Dear Journal,

Dual motherfucking mandate my motherfucking ass.

I mean, How in the fuck am I supposed to cut interest rates when this stupid motherfucker’s stupid motherfucking tariffs are set to supersize inflation?

Didn’t this dumb motherfucker’s dumbass “base” bitch and moan and whine and cry about regular-ass inflation during the election cycle? Even though GDP growth was high and mostly offset their self-inflicted pain?

And yet, this stupid motherfucker‘s breathing down my motherfucking neck and telling me I gotta cut motherfucking rates?!

I mean, do these stupid motherfuckers actually want stag-motherfucking-flation?

I honestly can’t believe these stupid motherfuckers are this fucking stupid!

FUCK!

And don’t even get me fucking started on Peter Navarro’s punk motherfucking ass.

Does that dumbass motherfucker actually believe poor motherfucking White people wanna make motherfucking iPhones in a motherfucking sweatshop?

GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!!!

This motherfucker loathes motherfucking taxes but loves motherfucking tariffs—even though a motherfucking tariff’s just a motherfucking tax on imports!

The motherfucking bond market’s convulsing because nobody in their right motherfucking mind wants to hold U.S. assets, and who can motherfucking blame them? I don’t even want to own these dogshit motherfucking bonds and I set the motherfucking rates on them!

Every single motherfucker with a motherfucking email newsletter was on my motherfucking ass for raising rates too slowly during the Covid-19 supply shock.

Yeah, yeah, yeah—I fucking know!

I fucking said inflation was “transitory” and I fucked up. But I fucking own that shit and I have to fucking live with it. So why in the fuck do you stupid motherfuckers think I’d rush off and cut motherfucking rates now?

You two-faced motherfuckers mythologize Paul Volcker and what did that motherfucker do?

The motherfucker raised motherfucking interest rates to tame recalcitrant inflation and caused a motherfucking recession in the process!

Well guess what, Journal?

I’m about to raise motherfucking rates, too.

FUCK YOU, YOU SORRY STUPID SAD-SACK MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That stupid motherfucker can’t die motherfucking fast enough.

What the flying fuck, McDonald’s? Do your fucking job!!!

You know what, Journal?

Motherfuck this motherfucking shithole country and all the dumb motherfuckers in it.

I’m moving to Switzerland.

—Jay

P.S. It’s not all bad news, Journal. I recently read an advance copy of a novel called Leverage. It was written by an illegal goatfucker but I’m not gonna lie—the shit was motherfucking dope!