Essays
How to Make a Cult Classic
A foolproof field guide
Essays
Straight talk from your boy.
Essays
Substack’s Heart of Darkness (Vol. 2)
Humans are the scariest thing imaginable
Essays
How to Ace Middle Age
A foolproof field guide
Poetry
A Life in Forty-Three Verses
Happy birthday to Beyoncé (and me)
Satire
Asymmetric Warfare
When defending yourself against evil goes wrong
Humor
There Goes the Neighborhood
A pseudo-legitimate dispatch from the mean streets of Chicago
Essays
Substack’s Heart of Darkness (Vol. 1)
A descent into the void
Humor
My Kids and I Had the Talk -- About Supply and Demand
Talk to your kids about supply and demand, before it's too late
Recommendations
Recommendation: Wild Things
My epic year in cinema continues
Satire
A Conversation with GPT-7
This isn’t the droid you’re looking for
Humor
One-Sided Conversations with Unmedicated First Graders
A field trip which will live in infamy
Fiction
Watch Your Language
Savage words for a savage species