Essays
Forty-Two Goals for the Next Forty-Two Years
Happy birthday to Beyoncé (and me)
Humor
Funny stuff from a funny guy.
Humor
Go Blue in 2022
That means vote, not watch my alma mater's flailing football program
Publishing
One-Sided Conversations with Unmedicated Writers
Inspired by true events
Satire
Selected Answers to Our Totally Kid-friendly Summer Activity Guide
They grow up so fast
Humor
My Daughter and I Had the Talk -- About Algorithms
Talk to your kids about algorithms, before it's too late
Humor
A Fatalist's Guide to Father's Day
Start lowering your expectations now
Humor
Help Your Kids Develop Essential Critical Reasoning Skills While School's Out
A totally kid-friendly summer activity guide
Satire
The Critics Have Spoken
My newsletter debuts to mixed reviews
Humor
One-Sided Conversations with Unmedicated Neighbors
Do I attract weird people, or am I the weird person?
Humor
Had I Sired Children in More Civilized Times, I Would’ve at Least Enjoyed a Violent, Premature Death
A dark meditation on the joys of modern parenting
Humor
Karen Chronicles: The Lost Girls
Karen's gotta Karen
Humor
My Son and I Had the Talk -- About Gentrification
Talk to your kids about gentrification, before it's too late